Understanding Feelings of Sadness During the Holidays - A guide for children under 10

A Message for Parents and Caregivers

The holiday season can amplify emotions for children who are grieving or missing someone special. While the world around them focuses on celebration, many young children quietly navigate complex feelings they may not yet have the words to express. This short guide is designed to help open gentle, age-appropriate conversations about grief with children under 10.

You’ll find simple language, warm explanations, and reassuring messages meant to help children understand that their feelings are normal, valid, and worthy of care. Children often move between joy and sorrow quickly, and both emotions deserve space.

Feel free to read this together, pause for conversation, or use sections as prompts for deeper moments of connection. Your presence, patience, and willingness to listen provide the strongest foundation for helping children learn to carry both memory and hope through the holiday season.

Understanding Feelings of Sadness During the Holidays

The holidays are usually filled with lights, music, and special moments. But sometimes, even during this exciting time, you might feel sad because someone you love isn’t here anymore. Missing someone is a normal feeling, and many children experience it too.

It’s okay to feel happy one moment and sad the next. Feelings can change quickly, and all of them are important.

It’s Okay to Feel Your Feelings

Sometimes grown-ups say the holidays are supposed to be joyful, but your heart might feel heavy.

You might feel:

• Sad
• Lonely
• Tired
• Confused
• Or even a little happy when you remember something nice

Every one of these feelings is completely okay. There is no “wrong” way to feel.

You Can Take Breaks When You Need Them

Holiday activities can be busy, parties, school events, family gatherings. If it ever feels like too much, you can:

• Ask for a quiet moment
• Sit somewhere calm
• Take deep breaths
• Ask a grown-up for help

Your feelings matter, and it’s okay to say when you need a break.

Remembering Someone You Love

Even though someone is not here anymore, you can still keep them close in your heart. You might:

• Light a small candle with a grown-up
• Draw a picture of them
• Bake or eat a food they loved
• Visit a place that reminds you of them

These little actions help you feel connected, even when you miss them very much.

Talking Helps Your Heart

Sharing stories can make you feel lighter. You can talk about the person you miss with your family or a trusted grown-up. You can say their name, share funny memories, or tell others what you loved about them. Talking helps remind you that love doesn’t go away.

Smiling Is Still Allowed

Even if you are missing someone, you’re still allowed to laugh, play, and enjoy the holidays. Feeling happy doesn’t mean you forgot them. It means your heart is strong and can hold many feelings at once.

Joy and sadness can live side by side.

Ask for Help When You Need It

If you feel really sad or confused, it’s okay to ask for help. You can always talk to:

• A parent or guardian
• A teacher
• A school counsellor
• A trusted family friend

You don’t have to carry big feelings alone. There is always someone who wants to listen.

You’re Not Alone

Missing someone you love is something many children feel, especially during the holidays. It shows how important that person was to you.

As you move through the season, remember that it’s okay to feel, okay to rest, and okay to enjoy moments of happiness.

You are surrounded by people who care deeply about you.