Thomas Frank Houtman (Tom), 61, drew his last breath at 12:25 p.m. on Sunday, June 21, 2026, surrounded by loved ones.
A glioblastoma took Tom from us all too soon. The cause, Tom described, as cosmic radiation striking a water molecule in his brain, and his neurosurgeon concurred. Nothing he did caused it, and nothing could have prevented it — short of not being in that place at that time, but who knows when and where?
Well, it was sometime in late winter, 2025, and I believe Tom was, most likely, at home. Maybe eight years before, Tom had taken early retirement from his electrical engineering job as Vice President, Field Application Engineering, with a high-tech company in Kanata. Tom loved his work, but thank goodness he did have that retirement time as he clearly enjoyed it. Given life expectancy of 14 months, Tom didn’t change the way he lived. He continued just as he’d been living. No scrambling to tick off items on a bucket list. Tom just kept reading his books as he always had, kept playing his video game, kept doing “dubs” (short for W’s, being Wordle and Worldle), and kept watching Jeopardy. I could expect to get maybe eight answers, but Tom! He might miss only eight. He had vast general knowledge, no doubt from all that reading.
I told Tom he should go on Jep, but he said he wouldn’t have enough little stories about his life for the part of the show where the host interviews the contestants. He was modest! But only to an extent… He expected he’d be on for many days, with many interviews, after all. And I knew to expect that, too. I do have a coffee mug that says, “I don’t need Google — my husband knows everything”, and not ironically. And while I had my coffee from that mug, Tom had his from his ”Best Uncle Ever” mug. A gift from my sister‘s children. And that mug is in Tom’s coffin with him now. He wanted to be buried with it.
Tom loved his nieces and nephews very much. And he loved his coffee! He enjoyed the simple things in life, not least of which was food, of all kinds. Tom loved cooking — getting exotic ingredients and then figuring out what to do with them. We never did figure out what to do with a feijoa one time in the late 80s. That specimen ended up on a fence post on Amherst Island. But Tom stuck with it over the years, cooking mainly Indian, Thai, and Chinese dishes. And he wouldn’t just buy a curry paste or a jar of sauce. He’d grind the cardamom and coriander seeds with a mortar and pestle, and use lemongrass, kefir lime leaf, Shaoxing wine… We have cupboards full of ingredients, and a bookcase full of cookbooks (not a patch on what Tom had on Kindle). On our honeymoon stop in Hong Kong, Tom was able to read menus in Chinese, just from his exposure to reading Chinese recipes.
Tom was so adept! And he liked a challenge, from biking through Vermont and New Hampshire, to taking two university degrees at once: electrical engineering and engineering physics. And I knew he was good on piano, but learned only recently, from Tom’s brother, that he’d completed every grade and then some, to Associate level with the Royal Conservatory of Music. When we first started dating,Tom and I slipped into the auditorium at Dunning Hall on campus and he played Maurice Ravel’s Jeux d’Eau on the grand piano. The janitor caught us, but didn’t chase us out. He just went about his work, as though Tom had every right to be there, practising for a concert or something. I later learned Tom played cello as well. He played with the Kingston Youth Orchestra. I only heard him play once, though. It’s not every day someone lets you borrow their cello. Tom took up banjo, too, most recently, and we both had fun with that.
Tom always impressed me, from our student days, when he made Beef Stroganoff for dinner when I was living on crackers and cheese, until the very end, when he was still in good spirits, through brain surgery, radiation and chemo. He let me shave him, and when I said it was “not too bad”, he agreed. “Bueno”, said Tom. He was so positive. No wonder I was always happy to see him. Such a clever fellow! Funny, and endlessly amusing. I told Tom he was amusing all the time and he’d joke about juggling and riding a unicycle — which he actually did! A summer job at the cancer clinic in Kingston introduced him to that clowning around. He was fun. And a very kind man. The most egalitarian person I’ve ever met. Fair, honest — a good egg! That is what our family doctor called Tom. And he called her ”M R Eyes” since she could see what was the matter with him when he went to her with the first symptoms. Tom was very grateful that it was his motor skills that were affected rather than his rationality or emotions. And he was grateful to learn that it would be a gentle death, as he would become sleepier and sleepier, until his heart stopped beating.
Tom is predeceased by his parents, Siert and Marguerite Houtman, and is survived by his sister, Eveline Houtman, brother-in-law, Claudio Cicuta and nephew, Kevin Cicuta, and by his brothers, Rennie Houtman and Martin Houtman, as well as by his wife, Celia Houtman, and his brother-in-law, Ian Tocher, and nephew, Robert Tocher, and by his very close friends and in-laws, Heather and Neil Macdonald, and nieces and nephews, Quinn and Conal Slobodin, Oak and Blake MacDrought, Cove and Ben Wilson, and Lake Macdonald, and by his grand nieces and nephew, Freya and Paige Slobodin and Everet and Ellowyn MacDrought.
We all love you, Tom. Family, friends, colleagues, neighbours…The messages received in response to the sad news of your passing show that we all care for you, admire you and respect you. Your kindness and gentle nature stand out in life. You will be in our hearts forever. And I will forever treasure the time I had to be with you. My favourite thing in the world. Just being with.
Family and friends are invited to attend the Funeral Service which is being held at Beechwood Funeral, Cemetery and Cremation Services (280 Beechwood Ave, Ottawa, ON K1L 8A6) on Monday, July 6th at 2pm. The service will be followed by the interment in Beechwood Cemetery at 3pm.
In lieu of flowers, donations can be made in Tom’s memory to the Heart and Stroke Foundation or Canada Cancer Society.
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